Fringe News

I’ve started to talk to my laptop. I forgot I wasn’t on a zoom call. I said something like, ‘why did you do that?’ As though I was scolding a dog. And then I said, ‘ok I’m sorry.’ I apologised to...

Comfortably Numb

We are all just mammals and vertebrates. We didn’t exactly evolve from angels, we just happen to be their poor relations, or physical manifestations. So we are a special case. That’s you and me liv...

Goodbye Me You

Saying goodbye is as natural as going to the toilet. Like a tadpole whose body eventually sucks in its own tail, we absorb our loss and make the most of it. We are after all made of pure protein. I...

Sleep Escape

Hit the snooze button and wake up next year. Right now, that’s how everyone wants it. The saying ‘get out of town’ is one of total disbelief. It’s strange that hitting the snooze button, and gettin...

Vape Sh*t

You have to respect vape smokers. They are some of the most selfless people on earth. Let’s face it, they gave up perfectly satisfying smoking habits for something dodgy, something that’s more like...

Eat my Art

To cut down a tree is not a crime, just a sin. It’s a crime if it hits your neighbour’s house. The hole it leaves can be filled, but there will always be a part of you that says, ‘something grew he...

When love dies

A broken appliance is like a broken heart. Washing machine dies = love dies. Life goes on but it will never be the same. I passed the place where all appliances go to rot. On the side of the highwa...

City Kitsch

There’s a fire in my heart. It burns with passion for adventure. I rev up my bike and go where the road takes me. Usually to my mother’s place. Well, I know that’s not exactly a searing drama, but…...

Cash Strapped

Xmas wreaths that pop up in October are a bit like Billy Porter in a dress. Quaint, but we’ve seen it all before. Planning a party when the world is such a mess seems selfish. But people are always...

I'm not the nude guy

Sex is not overrated, because it’s just as necessary as going to the loo. Which means it’s good for one’s health, and every now and then it comes out wrong. I have forgiven myself for not making a...

My Phone Heart

Wish I could just Shazam random people and find out who they are, and what they are like. Apparently the great migration is going to materialise when your stupid little phone will have an extreme a...

Pigs can Fly

We are all looking for ourselves. I don’t say that we are lost but the signs on the highway tell us our destination, but not our current position. On the highway there’s a billboard for some debt c...

Interplanetary Jazz

When the aliens make contact I’ll be rooting for humanity, and not the other side. One hopes it won’t be an either/or situation, but if it is I want to embrace the change, without giving up on my l...

Doctor Dog

If dentists worked at public pools they would not be lifesavers. Dentists have the uncanny ability to inflict pain while casually talking about the rugby scores. Meanwhile, very few dentists’ room...

Energy Antidote Anecdote

Energy is this mega commodity that is sold to us like cheap candy. It absolutely is, when we buy sugar-laced vitamins that promise us a better day. I’m so tired of buying energy. I buy it for the l...